Day 324/365 - Jack of Many Trades

A complaint from JW on her Twitter feed about grocery baggers last week gave me the idea of doing a shot that would provide me with an excuse to ramble on about all the jobs I've ever held in my life. And so here it is...

1. Grocery bagger at Safeway - My first job ever and I hated it. Does anyone enjoy their first job? They called us "courtesy clerks" and in addition to bagging groceries, we had to wrangle grocery carts, run price checks, and redeem aluminum cans brought in by recyclers. I worked there for about six months and then quit.

2. Game attendant at an amusement park - This job was fairly cool. When you weren't working you got free admission to the park. It was a seasonal, summertime job and I worked there four years, partly during high school and partly during undergrad. The first year I worked a section of skill games that involved things like shooting baskets or throwing softballs at milkbottles to try and win prizes. The next three years I worked a remote control boat stand. That was great. I worked on my own without much in the way of supervision and I mostly just made change for people. When things were slow I would just turn one of the machines on and drive a boat around the little lagoon.

3. Busboy at a semi-fancy restaurant - Well, fancy for suburban Missouri anyhow. Hated this job too. I had it one winter in high school in between gigs at the amusement park. Cleaning up after people at a restaurant sucks. Even worse was having to occasionally act as 'muffin boy' and walk through the dining rooms with a muffin pan asking diners "would you care for a muffin?" Man I hated that part. On the plus side, I learned how to walk on a slippery/greasy restaurant kitchen floor, a skill that has proven useful on icy winter days.

4. Temp worker for an employment agency - I did this for a few months after graduating college before my Navy enlistment kicked in. I worked in an ice plant, an archery company, and a plastics factory. My mom was actually temping at the plastics factory at the same time, but we worked different shifts.

5. Operations Specialist, U.S. Navy - Had this hitch for four years. I operated radar, communications, and data network equipment, did some navigation, and spent a whole lot of time cleaning and painting (which is why I now refuse to help friends paint when they move to a new place. I'll help with anything but that.). Being in the Navy was okay. I mostly enjoyed it the first three years, but by the fourth year I was more than ready to go. On the plus side, I got to go through the Panama Canal, cross the equator, and make more than a few trips to the Caribbean.

6. Receiving clerk at a Dollar Store - I did this for about nine months after I got out of the Navy while I was building up my Virginia residency so I could get in-state tuition for law school. I unloaded trucks, tracked shipments, and stocked shelves. It wasn't a bad gig. My bosses were pretty cool. They even taught me how to rebuild the alternator on my Jeep during lunch one day.

7. Temp worker for an employment agency, part deux - The summer before entering law school I quit the Dollar Store and headed home to spend some time with my family after not seeing them much the previous few years. This time I just helped set up a Harry and David store at an outlet mall and then stayed on for a bit as a stock boy.

8. Research assistant for a law school professor - Did this the summer of my 1L year. It wasn't a bad gig. Mostly I just did a lot of cite-checking and footnoting for an article a friend of the professor's wrote on ceasefire agreements. Spent a ton of time in the library, but I got to set my own hours.

9. Judicial clerk for a state circuit court judge - During my second and third years at law school, I clerked part-time for a local judge. He was a great guy and I learned a lot. One of the opinions I drafted for him wound up being the single-most read state court opinion that year, so that was pretty exciting (it was about whether an accident report prepared after a hand dryer fell off the wall in a Ponderosa bathroom and landed on a woman's foot could be withheld under the work product privilege. Or was it a paper towel dispenser? I can't remember.).

10. Summer associate at Alcoa - I worked for Alcoa's Office of General Counsel in Pittsburgh during my 2L summer. One time I got to fly to upstate NY and back on the corporate jet to go to a meeting about a deal to sell excess electricity generated by an aluminum factory power plant. The fridge on the plane was stocked with beer and I had one on the flight back. It was an all right job, even though the bastards didn't offer me a permanent gig after graduation. That's why I now take especial delight whenever I hear some bad news about Alcoa earnings and why I was thrilled that former Alcoa CEO Paul O'Neil crashed and burned as Treasury Secretary. Not that I hold grudges or anything.

11. Attorney for a government agency - My current gig. It's not bad. Mostly I practice grants law, but I also do a bit of work with government contracting programs, personal and real property, and employee travel. I also did appropriations law for a few years but thankfully I don't do that anymore. Having to answer the same question about whether federal funds can be used to buy food over and over and over again gets really old. (And no, 99 times out of a 100 they can't, in case you were curious. But that doesn't stop people from trying to scam a free meal.)

So there you have my list of employment, some more gainful than others. Hmm, I didn't realize I've only held eleven jobs in my life. I also babysat a couple of my cousins one year when I was in high school, but that doesn't really count.

(Taken with my Nikon D90)

Day 316/365 - Brew at the Zoo

Hot, tired, and still half-drunk. I'll write a description at some point tomorrow.

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Okay, I’m sober, awake, and air-conditioned now. I’d heard about Brew at the Zoo but never been before. It’s a fundraising event the National Zoo hosts every summer where they bring in around thirty breweries to set up booths at the Zoo and give out samples of their beers. For the price of your ticket you get a nice glass mug with the Brew at the Zoo logo etched on it and all the free samples of beer you can drink in three hours.

There is a sample line etched on the mug and many of the brewers were strict/stingy about only filling your glass up to that mark. I did notice that the women in attendance generally were given more in their glasses than guys, probably because most of the people working the booths and pouring the beer were guys. The booths are arranged in a loop at the back end of the zoo and you just get a sample and then move to the line for the next and drink your beer while you wait to move up to the head of the line. Which means that it’s pretty much just continuous beer drinking for hours. Because your mug is only getting filled to sample size, it doesn’t seem like you’re drinking that much but it adds up quickly.

I was supposed to go with a couple friends, but something came up and they were unable to go so I had to fly solo. It’s an event that would be more fun with friends, but it was still pretty good on my own. They should’ve handed out a map though showing the different brewers’ booths and listing their beers because if you find one you enjoy and would like to buy at the store, it’s hard to remember what it was after trying so many different ones (not to mention the memory fog brought on by simply drinking so much beer). Of the ones I liked, there are only two that I can remember by brewery – a porter by Flying Dog and a hefeweizen from Starr Hill. They were both delish.

My only gripe about the event is that it’s held at the worst possible time of year. August in DC is like a summer vacation in Hell. It’s so hot and muggy that the entire city feels like one big outdoor sauna. They should push Brew at the Zoo back until September when the weather is less brutal. Especially given that you have to hump it back up the hill to the zoo entrance after the event ends. I can’t lie, I had to stop twice and take a break on a bench for a few minutes (whether from the beer I’d drunk or the oppressive heat I don’t know. Possibly both).

If I go again next year I think I’ll spring for the VIP ticket. Then they throw in a free t-shirt, appetizers, and you have your own private beer booths so you don’t have to wait in line. Plus you’re under an awning in case it rains. After all, you don’t want the rain watering down your beer.

(Taken with my Nikon Coolpix S200)

Day 246/365 - No Beer Goggles Needed

The Nats actually won! It had been so long since that happened that I had forgotten what it was like to be happy at the end of a game. And there wasn't even a rain delay. Go figure.

(Taken with my Nikon Coolpix S200)

Day 245/365 - Intern Happy Hour

Tonight a bunch of us from work went to Bullfeathers on Capitol Hill for a happy hour with this year's crop of summer legal interns. They seem like a good bunch. The two interns for my division are from my alma mater, so they better be good. We've had some, shall we say 'entertaining,' interns in the past. There was one who liked to call Westlaw and have them do case law searches for her and email her the results. There was one who quit after a week because he didn't realize that he couldn't afford to have a summer job that didn't pay anything. There was the one who wore basically the same clothes every day and slept at his desk. And then there was the one who wound up dating the Deputy General Counsel after the summer ended. None of us saw that coming. She was young and hot and he was a bald, nerdy guy who looked like the eggheaded little bird in the Foghorn Leghorn cartoons. Who knew that was what it took to be irresistable?

(Taken with my Nikon Coolpix S200)

Day 224/365 - Driving Me to Drink

The Nats dropped their seventh straight game tonight in a 2-1 loss to the visiting Pittsburgh Pirates and their record now stands at 11-28. It's looking like another 100+ loss season is in store for them (and thus, by extension, for me). Fannnnnnnnntastic.

I went to the game but I had to leave after the fifth inning with the score knotted at 1 because my allergies were making me miserable. Like an idiot, I forgot to take any allergy medicine to work with me today. I had gotten pretty lucky thus far this spring with my hayfever, but today it caught up to me. I must have sneezed a dozen times just on the short walk from the ballpark to the Metro. With the way my eyes were puffy and red and watery and my nose was running I must have looked as though I'd been bawling. The way the Nats are playing is certainly enough to make a grown man cry.

As you can see from the photo, I always take a book on baseball to the ballpark with me. Usually it's a book on DC baseball history. There are a surprising number of them out there. There are even a couple DC baseball novels. I like to read before the game starts and then in between innings. I'm also one of those nerd boys who brings a portable radio to the ballpark with him to listen to the broadcast of the game. Yeah, I'm cool like that.

I got home tonight in time to catch the ninth inning and hear the Nats let the Pirates score the go-ahead run and then fail to even things up in their half of the final frame. I turned off the radio, fixed myself a rather stout bloody mary, and put on some Billie Holiday. It's good to remember at times like this that even the blues can be beautiful.

(Taken with my Nikon Coolpix S200)

Day 209/365 - Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Happy Cinco de Mayo a mis amigos. I spent mine eating queso, drinking Corona, and watching "The Mexican" on dvd. Perhaps not the most authentic way to celebrate Mexico's victory over the French imperialists at the Battle of Puebla, but it was fun anyhow. "The Mexican" is an odd little movie, but I like it. Great cast (Julia Roberts, Brad Pitt, James Gandolfini, Gene Hackman) and quirky humor. If you haven't seen it, rent it. There's quite a bit of bloodshed, though, so be advised.

(Taken with my Nikon D80)

Day 188/365 - Beer O'Clock

This week's self-portrait is me taking a beer out of the fridge, a process that is repeated many times over the course of a year. Don't worry, though -- there's still more in there if you're thirsty.

(Taken with my Nikon D80)

Day 187/365 - Home, Bittersweet Home

Today was Opening Day for the 2009 baseball season at Nationals Park in DC. The hometown Washington Nationals played host to the defending World Champion Philadelphia Phillies. I wish the hosts had been a little less accommodating to their out of town guests. The Nats lost to the Phillies 9-8. They're now 0-7 on the season and were once again done in by poor pitching and shoddy defense. Ugh.

At least they made it close, though, with a two run rally in the bottom of the ninth inning. Plus I got to leave work early today, sit outside in the occasional sunshine, buy some new swag at the team store, and eat a hot dog and pretzel and drink a beer (followed six innings later by a Coke and an order of chili cheese fries). So in the final accounting I'd still say there were more entries on the plus side of the day's ledger than on the minus side.

Nothing breaks your heart and torments you with renewed hope like love and baseball.

Go Nats!

(Taken with my Nikon D80)

Day 179/365 - Are You Ready for Some Kickball?

I obviously wasn't, given the way I looked like a discombobulated doofus at the plate. Today was my kickball team's first game. We pretty much got clobbered. I'm not exactly sure what the score was because Adriana and I were chatting and lost track of the innings, but I do know they scored a bunch and we didn't score any. That's a sure recipe for losing. Especially against a team as competitive and hardcore as our opponents were.

We barely made it once through our kicking order and in my one turn at the plate I let one go by for a strike, took one for a ball, hit another off my knee for a foul, kicked another one foul, and then when I did finally make legal contact it was just a weak dribbler back to the pitcher and I was out by a mile.

I did a bit better during my one inning in the field when I played short right field. All I did then was run over to back up first a couple times in case of an overthrow that never happened, but at least I was in position anyhow. I definitely need to work on my kicking. Turns out that adults pitch the ball much harder and with vastly more spin than do the 6th graders I last played against about 20 years ago. Go figure.

After the beatdown, we adjourned to the Exchange, the official after-game bar for our division, and went through pitchers of beer like Sherman going through Georgia. At the bar we played the drinking game flip cup against the team that had just beaten us at kickball. They're the nefarious team in purple on the left above.

I'd never played flip cup before and I was only slightly less abysmal at it than I was at kickball. That will certainly be much more fun to practice than my kicking will be, though.

(Taken with my Nikon Coolpix S200)

Day 160/365 - Happy St. Patty's Day

I'm not Irish, but my first name is. It can mean either "of comely birth" or "noble, gentle, kind, and loveable." I've seen it translated both ways. I'm not sure how accurate either actually is as it relates to me. Originally my name was spelled Coemgen and it dates to at least the 5th century AD. That's when my name made its first recorded appearance in the annals of history with the arrival on the scene of Saint Kevin of Ireland.

He was an interesting character. He was a holy man who could reportedly talk to animals. He also founded a monastery but when the job of being in charge got to be too much for him he ran away and became a hermit who lived in a cave in the woods. The monks eventually tracked him down and pleaded with him to come back, but he wasn't having any of it. He did agree to let them visit him in his cave from time to time to consult with him, though.

I remember reading about him in college when I had some time to kill between classes one day and looked up my name in the library. Once I read about what a quirky introvert he was I thought "Yep, he was a Kevin alright."

Today has to be the Guinness Brewing Company's favorite day of the year, much as the Corona people have to love Cinco de Mayo. Pizza companies and Italian breweries need to get together and start pushing Columbus Day as the next ethnic food and excessive beer drinking holiday.

(Taken with my Nikon Coolpix S200)

Day 148/365 - Happy Hour at Matchbox

I went to a happy hour at at bar/restaurant called Matchbox with a few people from work tonight. That's my first beer above, a Chimay. I only had two, though. Everyone had stuff they had to do tonight so we only hung out for about 90 minutes. Still, it was nice to get out and socialize for a bit.

Matchbox specializes in pizza, but they also have these really good mini-burgers. That's what I ordered. I had to get the order of 6 because 3 mini-burgers just isn't enough. I need a "baby bear option," dammit. Where's the size that's just right?

(Taken with my Nikon Coolpix S200)

Day 70/365 - Lawyers on the Loose

Today was my office's holiday party. We had lunch at Tuscana West and then 'neglected' to go back to the office. Whoops! My six person section decided to go to the restaurant a bit early for a 'meeting' and a few aperitifs. That's how we roll.

It turned out to be a pretty good party. Because we work for the public rather than the private sector, we have to pay for our holiday parties ourselves. This one only cost us $27 each and the food was quite good. You have to get to these parties fairly early so that you can avoid being stuck sitting next to people you don't really want to spend two hours with. Made that mistake once.

Organizing these things is always a bit of a struggle. The tightwad old fuddy-duddy segment of our office never wants to pay much and won't go anywhere remotely non-mainstream. They were appalled the year we went to a Moroccan place and had to eat with our hands. Thankfully my boss finally stopped volunteering me for the party planning committee. Even when these parties are kind of lame they're still worth attending, though. I always just look at it as though I'm buying myself a half-day off. That makes it a bargain at just about any price.

(Taken with my Nikon Coolpix S200)

Day 67/365 - Pub-A-Dub-Grub

There's a sports pub a few blocks away from my apartment and it serves as my neighborhood hang-out. I go there at least once a week, usually on the weekends. I go to watch the Nats or Broncos games, and if there isn't a game on that I want to see then I just take my most recent issue of Entertainment Weekly with me and read that while I eat. Then when I'm done I always leave my magazine behind on the table and the waitresses take it and read it when things are slow.

Today it was a Broncos game. They were playing the Panthers and getting whupped. As usual, the defense sucked. They were down 27-10 midway through the third quarter when I gave up and went home. Oh well, at least I got to scarf down an order of crab dip and some buffalo chicken tenders with cole slaw, all washed down with Backdraft Brown on tap. On Sundays here they put sheets of plywood over the pool tables and turn them into communal dining tables. That's generally where I sit to watch the game. I pretty much have to go here to watch the Broncos play seeing as how all we get on tv in this area are the games of crappy east coast teams like the Jets, Dolphins, and Ravens. Bleaahh.

Given that I was born and raised in Missouri, I'm not sure how I wound up being a Broncos fan. I suspect I might have started rooting for them just to aggravate my big brother, who is a diehard Chiefs fan. Every season when the Broncos came to town he and I would go to the game and I'd cheer for Denver and he'd cheer for KC. Denver usually won back then so he'd threaten to make me move and sit somewhere else in the stadium or threaten to drive off and leave me stranded in the parking lot. Even now, if my team loses on Sunday he calls me to rub it in and if his team loses I do likewise.

Ahhh, there's nothing quite like brotherly love.

(Taken with my Nikon Coolpix S200)